David Westphal cont'd

David Westphal

going out

i am done going out
occasionally ill have to satisfy the wishes of a friend or colleague, but only because their joy brings me joy - but in all honesty, there is little good, truth that can come from it. I don't need to be sedated like everyone else, and I don't see the point in the dance that's involved behind it being late, having drinks, etc - other than for mating, in which case it does not say much about the level of consciousness of either individual at the moment it occurs. Moreover, its considerably time consuming.

there is a certain peace that comes with the morning - maybe its that everyone is groggy, and unwilling to open to the day, so my being awake and aware makes me feel monkish. A wise mentor told me that the hours that you sleep before midnight are the ones that we truly need.there is something to say about how the cosmos and light affect the soul, but the only way to do it is to try it. One day at a time, after all - we cannot expect to be perfect throughout its entirety, and unfortunately many of the things we do are bound by what others are doing. The question is, how much is enough - and why can't i change them?

my decision might make me seem outcast but who cares. i think it will make me more social actually :)
to a new beginning, a new path, and enlightenment
cheers

THE ANTHEM

i have always had this idea that i need to be perfect
i have always strived for perfection in whatever i do
apparently such a feat is merely impossible
this has always been a source of frustration for me
as it takes the fun out of everything, obsessively
and all this time i couldnt help it
i have been engrained to think this way since i can remember
how german of me, id like to thank my parents
funny how you end up becoming everything you try to avoid
when you consider a set of expectations
i have always felt at fault

fortunately, this can be changed
and the ones you'd never think you could count on
especially those of the way of the gypsy
and the ones who dont need shit from you
are the ones i find encouraging me
how funny, sad, scary, and empowering all at the same time
to shift my modus operandi from result to feeling will require strict discipline

here is my twelve-fold path to letting go of all those who need to go fuck themselves
this will be soo much fun

step 1. i have the true faith
step 2. i am not perfect
step 3. i am and always will be enough
step 4. i have no control over outcome
step 5. i will never stop telling stories
step 6. i will use my pain to serve art
step 7. i will make you feel the shame i live with daily
step 8. i will never count on you
step 9. i will forgive you but i will never forget
step10. i am not here to please you, you already lost your chance - may my joy be your agony
step11. i deserve everything i receive, i owe you nothing, and you dont owe me shit
step12. this is my destiny, my success is immeasurable, i dare you to judge me

The Bottom Line

Short story about the events leading up to the comeback of vocalist, Robbie (myself), of a previously extremely successful rock band group called "The Bottom Line", who's drummer died of a cocaine overdose 10 years prior - at the peak of their success. Now alone and deep into his own addictions and financial problems, a surprise visit from his ex-girlfriend inspires him to do everything possible to get her back. Will he succeed or is it too little too late?

Directed by Alberto Marenco

Readers

Apparently my last message worked - people actually read this...Thank you

facebook friends

dear user
why do u have to be friends with everyone i know on fb?
why do i always see u in common friends (when ur really not friends with them)?
do you have to ruin my perception of my closest friends by association?
aren't your own friends good enough? do you not have any?
i wonder why that is...
i find myself resentful of you, with feelings i wasnt aware of before...
...but resonate now
u disgust me